Musing about Gaming Groups

Back in the 1990s I played with a group of people that I (mostly) didn't know from my own neighborhood or school. That makes sense, because I was an adult by then, but it had never happened before, and hasn't really ever happened again for me. I have relatively few people I play RPGs with now, and only two of them, Mike and Chris*, are new to my life. The others are my wife, my son- when he's on break from college, and my old, best friend Darryl- when he can make it down here, less than once per month. I have given serious consideration to joining an online game, but my own personal anxieties, coupled with my desire to GM and my inexperience with the technology, have kept me from trying so far.

But the group I played with in the first half of the 1990s consisted of (and was started by) a guy named Steve that I had played with a couple of times before, six months or a year before he started this new campaign, a couple of guys he apparently found through the local comic shop, Mike and Marty, both of whom worked at the local nuclear power plants, but not the same one. Jamie, the guy that killed my last campaign with an entire evening's worth of negativity about the concept, who knew Steve from growing up, they were neighbors. I actually met Steve through Jamie**, so it wasn't all bad with him. Danny***, who actually got invited to the game by accident because he shared a first name with someone else that Steve mistook him for on the phone. Lastly, Lance, who was an old friend and D&D buddy of mine from way, way back. Eventually the group lost Steve, who burned out on DMing, although he ultimately came back to play after about 18 months or so, and gained Nikki, who I met in college and brought aboard. Mike left when he had to relocate for work, Marty became the new DM when Steve quit, Jamie got kicked out for a while, by Steve, but we voted him back in when Steve quit. A few other people drifted through the group, but none stuck for more than a session or two.

This group was fun for a long while, the first couple of years anyway. Eventually it devolved into a soap opera of pettiness, for which I take my share of blame, but it was good for a time. Now, I don't take the group's break up as a sign that this formation style of a group is doomed to failure, in fact I'd like to see it happen for me again. I have started with how I found Mike, online, now I just have to find more people that can play as regulars, because I don't think that two players and a GM is a viable long term group strategy. One player and a GM can work (especially for short term play), but it seems less workable with two. There is not, from what I can tell, a large local gaming scene; it seems I moved from one part of the boonies to a slightly more populace part; so how do I find and recruit new players? I have put a small amount of effort into advertising the fact that we are gamers to my daughter's new friends here. A couple have expressed interest in playing D&D, but never more than that, and my daughter doesn't seem to want any of her friends becoming my new gaming buddies. I get that, so I haven't pushed.

Do I need to start DMing online just to scratch my world building itch? Can I find enough people in a rural area to play with? I never wanted for gaming buddies until after the year 2000, but since then my game has been more off than on, and mostly with my wife and kids (and my daughter Ashli's friends, but she's a grown up now, doesn't live nearby and is having trouble filling her game up too) and the odd adult friend (usually Leanne, our best remaining SCA friend, and, sometimes, either Lance or Darryl, they don't play together anymore)

* And Chris has only played once so far, she has even further to drive than Darryl.

** I actually had “re-met” Jamie in 1990. His parents had been involved in Cub Scouts at the same time mine were, our parents remained friends, but Jamie was a couple of years ahead of me in school, we never were in the same circles socially. Danny re-introduced me to Jamie the very night he came over to my house and killed my campaign.

***Danny and I met because his dad and my dad were both active members of the local model railroad club. Oddly, I was in Cub Scouts with both of Danny's older brothers, and both of his parents were involved with scouting at the time, small towns, eh? I hung around over there because Danny was into D&D, and his dad (Big Bill) was also a war gamer (hex and counter and WWII miniatures; HO scale, like his, and my dad's train layouts).